Separation Anxiety
Byron's Dog Blog
For Everyone
Updated:
Separation anxiety is an issue that many dogs face, and this post tracks how Burtman is training me to deal with it, as we attempt to remove the anxiety and replace it with calm. If your dog doesn't respond to this method, talk to your vet. Medication is not the answer, but they may have some alternative suggestions that could help.
One of the problems that van-life can present to dog people is that you can't very well leave your best pal in the van, on his own, for any period of time, without something bad happening. It might be the danger of excessive temperatures, or of someone hearing the noise of what appears to be a dog in distress - possibly leading to broken glass or worse.
If you're in this situation, as Burtman often is, you might find yourself figuratively, if not literally, tied to your dog for the whole day. And while this might seem fine, while you are out together, exploring the world, it can lead to a serious case of separation anxiety that might only manifest much later, when you are back home, and want to do things that don't include your furry buddy.
As has been the case here, at the Burt-Cave, when I discovered that my need to be at Burtman's side 100% of the time wasn't that healthy, and Burtman couldn't even go out to fetch groceries without triggering an exceptional level of trauma for me. Now, us dogs can be sneaky, and it's not uncommon for us to play tricks on you, even going as far as feigning extreme discomfort - but only for as long as we think you can hear us, and then settling down quite happily. But we are also very sensitive creatures, and your suddenly not being home, especially after a long period together, can be genuinely traumatic for us.
Emotional trauma is bad news for anyone. Us dogs are no exception. Leaving me at home for a long period, when we've been physically close for a long time, can cause intense stress and panic, the likes of which can lead to eating disorders that can become serious. The stress we experience can also cause stomach problems and make us behave badly. Add to that the fact that prolonged stress is known to cause cancer and brain problems, and you have an issue you really can't afford to ignore.
So what to do?
That's what Burtman's been asking, and his research has backed up his excellent common sense (he's the best). The answer is actually simple, but it needs to be taken in steps. So...
Each day, you just need to leave your pooch on his own for a short period of time. The first day, it should be very short, especially if the problem is severe (severity = time spent together per day * number of days without a break). The next day, a little longer, and so on.
Day 1
Today, we started by being apart for five minutes. It was too much for me. Dad put his GoPro on and I was caught howling and jumping around the room, as I started to panic almost as soon as he left the house. I was so upset, I couldn't stop myself, and I kept howling right up until he came back in. I was so excited that he finally returned, I couldn't help greeting him as though he'd been away for a really long time. I ran to the door with my ears back and my head down, jumped up and tried very hard to lick his face. But apparently, this was not the right thing to do. Although I thought this was a fitting greeting after such a long time, dad says it shows the intensity of my need to be accompanied, which saddened him. Then I realized it was a real problem.
Day 2
Since my problem is severe, dad only went out for three minutes. He went to the garden, and he could hear me howling like a desperate, abandoned creature. So, he came to the window, where I could see him, and then went back to the garden. It was the smallest of baby steps. But to my surprise, after repeating this only twice more, I started to realize that he wasn't gone forever, and that calmed me down a lot. Fairly soon, he could leave the house for about 10 minutes. He was pretty pleased with that.
Day 3
By day three, we were already up to a consistent 10-minute absence, and the greeting I gave him on his return was much calmer. The second time he came back, I didn't even bother to get off the bed (I just wiggled a little). It was a much better reaction that earned me a 'good boy'. My favorite.
Day 4
Today, dad went out to the garden for about 15 minutes. I did howl, but not until he'd been gone for a few minutes. I felt a bit overwhelmed, but not as much as before. But I didn't howl for the whole time. Maybe just a few minutes. After that, I got cozy on the bed and waited for him to come back in and tell me what a good boy I was. Step by step, I feel like I'm getting used to being alone, as long as I know dad's not far away.
Days 5 & 6
Great improvements have come! Although day five wasn't particularly better than day four, day six has been so much better - I'm talking big steps. First, dad went to Burt to collect some shopping. He took his time and sauntered in and out, then he got a bit carried away, organizing the workshop. I didn't howl at all! When he came in for a short while, I was very happy, but I didn't make it too obvious. Then. dad decided to take his archery gear for a short session in the garden. It's been a while since he had any archery time, so he stunk at it, but he seemed to be having fun and it seemed to distract him from the real reason he went out. I did howl a little bit, just for the first few minutes, but then I contained myself and let him get on with his stick-throwing game for a whole hour. I'm such a good boy! This hasn't happened since the day I came along, because I've been so incredibly clingy, so I think he was thrilled.
IMPORTANT:
If you are facing this issue, don't make a fuss of leaving and returning, because this tells us that something big is happening, which makes us really anxious (because we never know what it is). It's better if you just casually come and go, as you would hope to be able to do, and when we greet you, only pay minimal attention to us, as though you were just in the other room. Only give us attention once we're completely calm, so we don't associate high levels of excitement or anxiety with reward. If we get the idea that howling and scratching the door is why you came back or why you gave us a treat and some rubs, we'll be doing more of that sort of thing in the future (because we really love treats and love)!
It's been a few months since the first week of training I wrote about here, and I'm so much better with being left alone. Although dad hasn't left me for long periods, on a regular basis, when he does, I'm nice and relaxed about it. I don't howl and freak out when he comes back, like I've been rescued from a desert island, anymore! Yes, I am still very excited when he returns, if he's been out for a few hours, but it's a much more controlled excitement and it subsides fairly quickly. This is a huge improvement that I wish we'd worked on much sooner, because I feel much better alone and dad can get a lot more done without me being tied to him.
Us dogs can get used to a lot of things, but we need to be exposed to them, in order to do so. Once a suitable period of time has passed, the new situation is just normality, and normal behavior usually returns. If you've had this problem with your dog, leave a comment and tell us how your training went. :)
Things have certainly changed around here! I've learned to spend time alone in the garden, I'm much more obedient - returning to dad when he calls me almost always, and I've even done some work on my problem with other dogs. I'll post about that, once I've become a bit more consistent with it (I still get spooked and expect trouble near certain yards)...
Sign In To Leave A Comment
There are no comments marked as public for this item.
Stay Up To Date
